An unmarried girl who worked in a busy office arrived one morning and began passing out big cigars and candy, both tied with blue ribbons. When asked what the occasion was, she proudly displayed a new diamond solitaire ring on her third finger, left hand, and announced, "It's a boy, six feet tall and 190 lbs!
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No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
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The Secret to a Happy Marriage
A couple was celebrating their Golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage. "Well, it dates back to our honeymoon, " explained the husband. "We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by pack mule. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's mule stumbled.
My wife quietly said 'That's once.' We proceeded a little further when the mule stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly said, 'That's twice.'
We hadn't gone a half-mile when the mule stumbled a third time. My wife promptly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the mule.
I started to protest over her treatment of the mule when she looked at me and quietly said, "That's once."____________________________________________________________________________
If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
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Murphy's First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five.
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Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked.
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Posted by: Valentine's Jewelry | January 08, 2010 at 04:13 AM